


Holy shit! Why does this keep happening to Yuri Plisetsky?

by Blownwish



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Blow Jobs, M/M, Pliroy, Rimming, Unreliable Narrator, author thinks she's funny and she's probably not, otabek seems like a bad guy, otayuri break up, past JJBella, past otayuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 16:20:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12084732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blownwish/pseuds/Blownwish
Summary: Yuri's dick is almost as stupid as JJ Leroy and possibly as underhanded as Otabek Altin.





	Holy shit! Why does this keep happening to Yuri Plisetsky?

Yuri woke up at in a different room that morning, which meant Yakov was losing his mind. He sat up, immediately. The suits on the floor, the bottle on the nightstand, the damn whistling - it happened, _again_. Why did it keep happening?

And who whistled through a hangover the morning after? Yuri tore off the sheet and stumbled his way to the bathroom, through the door, the steam and ripped the curtain back. “Hurry up.”

“Easy, easy.” No, he didn't want to take it easy. Yuri wanted a hot shower. He wanted a Venti black coffee in his gut. And he did not want any more shit from his coach. “Why don't we share a shower, kitten?”

Okay, fuck the shower. Yuri yanked the curtain shut and stomped as gently as his head required back into the suite. God, why did this keep _happening?_ “Quit fucking JJ Leroy.” He shrugged his shirt on. No, that wasn't his shirt. Shit! “Quit fucking JJ Leroy.” There. Ugh! It was still wet. That was from the idiot spraying a champagne bottle all over him. Yuri needed his head examined. “Quit this bullshit.” He had to hurry. The shower was cut off. The whistling was back. The pants were ridiculously difficult to put on. Shit, Yuri needed to get out of here and find a to go cup of Starbucks’ finest mercy. “Quit having _stupid-sex_.”

“Morning, sunshine.” And there he was, the one thing Yuri wanted to blame for all this bullshit. Water was beading off his chest. Yuri could imagine licking them off and biting all that delicious muscle. The towel around his hips was like a question: How easy is this to pull off? And his smile was like an answer: Easy, like the person wearing it. “Want a little morning pick-me-up?”

But Yuri wasn't going to do this. “Fuck off JJ.” Where were his shoes? Yuri didn't want to bend over again. His head was pounding and puking was not high on his to-do list. JJ just laughed. Just laughed as he sauntered to the bed, bent down and handed Yuri his shoes. Was there something in Canadian water that made them immune to hangovers?

“You're welcome.” JJ smiled. There was a knock, as loud as a gunshot. “Ordered some breakfast. Black coffee, two dry toasts, one banana. Right?” Fuck. Yuri couldn't do this. Yakov was probably shaking down the entire hotel by now. And if he found him here? With _him_? “Come on. You always end up staying for breakfast.” He didn't need to wink. Those winks were uncalled for. _And was he really going to answer the door like that?_

“Get a robe.”

“Too late.” He actually said that after he answered the door. Shit, he probably winked again when he said that. Seriously, it was more like a facial tick than a habit.

Yuri rubbed his head. It still didn't help him gain enough IQ points to leave. What the fuck was even wrong with him? “Where's my phone?”

“Nightstand.” No it wasn't. “Drawer.” Oh. “Here, hydrate, first.” JJ held out a cold Dasani.

And he was still practically naked. Yuri kept his eyes on the bottle. “Will you get dressed? Jesus!” He wanted to bite the tattoos now. And those already had bite marks. Yuri needed out of there, fast.

“I get better tips this way.” Mr Winks brought the tray to the nightstand. “Drink it all before you get the coffee.”

Yuri did. And, okay, he really needed that. “Shut up while I talk to Yakov, okay?”

JJ made a zipping motion over his lips. Wow, it only he could keep it that way? Yuri leaned against the headboard and made the call. “Yakov.” He winced because that yelling - the old fart had a hard on for a good early morning yell - and pulled the phone back. “Okay, yeah. Yeah. Calm down. I'm alive. I'll be back in the room.” JJ rubbed his forefingers together. (What the hell did that mean?) “None of your business, okay? I'm not a kid. Yeah. Checkout is eleven. I'm shocked. Yeah. Whatever.” He tossed the phone on the mattress and held up his hands. “Done. Now I can eat your stupid breakfast.”

JJ watched him bite into the toast. “And then I can eat you.”

God, why did this keep happening?

++

It started in Rome. Yuri was sixteen, it was World’s, and he was this close to gold. He figured three things stood in his way: Yuuri Katsuki, JJ Leroy, and Viktor Nikiforov. He forgot one name. He shouldn't have, but Yuri was blindsided by Otabek Altin.

If it was just a question of being surprised, Yuri would've been happy for him. If it was only about watching his friend surpass both his free skate and short program, he would've been the first on his feet to cheer. But it wasn't just a question of winning.

Barcelona was a promise. Rome was the answer to that promise. Rome was long drags on a rented Harley down streets preparing god, after practice. Rome was being backed up against the pockmarked Colosseum walls, getting devoured by wet kisses and a quick, devestating hand job. Rome was Otabek Altin, with his black leather and his hot stares, boring through Yuri, right through his skin and into his blood. He couldn't concentrate, and that was the point. That was the _plan_.

Of course is was. Yuri might've been stupid at first, fucking _love drunk_. Yuri choked on his short program jumps with pissy little single rotations like he was a first year junior. Otabek was cool - he was always so cool, wasn't he? - and took him out for hot chocolate, then took him back to the hotel. Then put Yuri's dick in his mouth and sucked him off. It was easy to believe Otabek was making him feel better while Yuri was laid out on his bed. Too easy. “I love you,” he said. Yuri even believed it. Then he fucked up his free skate. He fell, twice. Twice. All because Otabek had licked his lips after he hollered, _Davai!_ That first fall woke him up. That second fall? That second fall pissed him the fuck off.

He was pissed with that god damn Kazakh _fuckboy_. He was pissed that he let himself get played with a little smooth talking bullshit. He didn't love Yuri. “You like that medal, Kazakhstan?” Yuri crowded him up against the wall at the banquet. Fuck everyone's stares. Fuck the whispers. Fuck it all. “You proud of what you did to get it?”

Fucker didn't even apologize for what he did. That dead look in Altin’s eyes was all Yuri needed to see. “Yeah, yeah I love it, _Russia_. He was just like everyone else: he loved that gold medal hanging around his neck. Yuri slammed the wall and ran out of the room.

Like hell would he let that bastard see him cry. Like fucking hell.

He expected Viktor on the other side of the hotel door, when he heard the knock. Viktor, or Lilia. That was the only reason he opened it. The only reason he was willing to show his blotchy, red face. He tried to close it, when he saw the last person he ever expected.

Tried, and failed. “Hey!” JJ put his foot in the door. “Thought you could use some company?” The only reason he didn't get a five fingered kiss, was because of the champagne bottle. Asshole brought a magnum, more than enough to make Yuri forget all about fuckboy making a loser out of him.

Good enough. “Yeah, fine.”

++

He's fucking gorgeous. Yuri always thought he was, even back when he was in juniors, scoping out future competition. Jean _morherfucking_ Jacques Leroy was a tall order of sex on legs, with those broad shoulders, long legs, tight ass and shit eating grin. Yuri made plenty of spank bank deposits for him. Then again, he was a kid. He made deposits for the guy who watched the door at Sochi. For Viktor. Ugh - even _Katsudon_. But he liked going back to thinking about that JJ guy. He was loud, stupid, and fuckable. Totally, absolutely fuckable. Even when he finally met Yuri. Even with the wolf whistles and the _ladies first_ shit. But lots of people are fuckable. And no one was ever as annoying.

Fuck if he knew why he let JJ paw all over him like this. His hands are so warm, so big and they're everywhere. So’s his mouth. “You like that, baby?” JJ is trying to break the world record in ass eating or something. Forty plus minutes is pretty impressive. And he's not hard to watch; he looks great with Yuri's balls on his forehead. Hell, the porn on JJ’s laptop would've died after video one of Yuri didn't put it on autoplay, just for background noise so he could drown out his talking.

God, Yuri is so _wasted_.

But he's not going to stop there. No, he's already sucking on Yuri's balls. Fuck! He laughs when he does that, like it's a joke. And it probably is? Yuri grabs his hair and makes him stay there a while. He needs to forget about winning silver to Altin. Fucking Altin.

“Fucking _bastard!_ ”

JJ is on top of him in a flash. Kissing him way to hard and it's way too much. Too much tongue and spit and it's hard to breath when he does that, and he always does that when he hears that name. Yuri pushes him off. “Hey, fuck off with that jealous boyfriend shit. You're just a hookup.”

“Know my place and all that, right?”

Yuri rolls his eyes. “Whatever. Just do me.”

“Oh, that's not a problem, kitty cat.” The wink is so annoying. So are the stupid pet names. So is he, for what it's worth. But his body? His mouth? His dick? Those sort of work. Still, he kills brain cells every time he opens his face. The tattoos look like a failed IQ test. The dumb highlights, after bob cut bitch left him, just reinforced the stupid. What the fuck is he even doing with this guy? Fuck! It's like his dick is out to sabotage his sanity! First it was fuckboy Altin, breaking his heart, and now it's crazy-ass JJ, breaking his brain. Why did this keep happening to him? Apparently Yuri could tolerate a lot of stupid with this body on top of him and that dick murdering him, all night.

God, JJ’s body…

He had to get JJ naked the second he came over, tonight. Had to suck on his tits. Had to lick those abs as he fell to his knees. And absolutely, positively, had to suck on that dick.

Yuri would've bet his silver Altin wasn't getting head like that. The kind that made JJ fuck into Yuri's mouth as he sucked champagne straight from the bottle and talk so, so dirty in French. God, there outta be a law, only allowing JJ to say nasty shit in French when he talks.

What the fuck is even wrong with Yuri? JJ could've been reciting his stupid catholic prayers, for all he knows. His judgment is so fucking off when it comes to dick.

JJ looks and feels so god-awful hot. He's giving Yuri that steamy _let's fuck_ face. He's working his hips so his spectacular dick rubs up and down his ass. And his biceps are within biting range. Yuri might just have another taste. Yeah, actually, that's a kick-ass idea. “You ready for King JJ, baby?”

Oh, god. “You know what would be really, really good right now?”

“Some JJ Style, all up in your little booty.”

This is an emergency: Yuri's hard on is about to die. “No!” Yuri has to pull him back when he starts doing that sad _I'm not pouting about being rejected because I expected it_ pout. “I mean, yes.” He puts his finger in JJ’s grin before he can do more damage. “Just… keep it in French.”

“But you don't speak French.”

“Exactly.”

JJ is so good at following directions, and suddenly everything coming out of that mouth sounds so good and nasty, especially when JJ sits up and smacks his dick right up against Yuri, right _there_ , and snickers at him. It makes Yuri feel all hot and he's pretty sure his skin’s all red and he wiggles his ass. JJ slaps it. Once, then twice, then pinches it. Then -

“Oh! _Fuck, Yes!_ ”

It's good! So good! Yuri wraps his legs around JJ and wiggles some more, but JJ can't get any deeper -- because the big crazy asshole! Crazy-ass JJ slammed balls deep into him and it's so fucking - oh, god! - it's fucking _so much_ \-- and then he moves and it's so fast and hard and fuck fuck fuck! Yuri sobs because nothing ever, not ever, felt so so so so --

“Fuck!” Yuri can't stop touching himself, and JJ has to smack his hand away, snarls something in French and now JJ is jacking him off and -- oh, fuck! “Jeh Jeh!” Yuri feels it everywhere and JJ slams one more time into him and it's too much. Too fucking much. Always.

Yuri hates the part where he's crying.

++

JJ promised not to be a pain when Yuri allowed him to keep him company during the walk of shame back to his room. And, of course he was. He said hi to everyone. The room service maid, the Incest Twins, Japanese snaggletooth boy, and even Altin.

Yeah. They had to share an elevator with Altin. After JJ said his way-too-loud _’morning!_ they just all three stood there, waiting for the cables to pull them to floor nine. Apparently that was Otabek’s floor number, too.

Like Yuri cared.

JJ cleared his throat, and Yuri stared at Otabek's reflection in the metal panels. It stared right back at him as JJ began to whistle. And when the doors opened, when it was all over, when Yuri realized Otabek hadn't been this close, for this long, in more than a year, JJ took his hand as Otabek waited for them to leave. Yuri didn't turn around but he was pretty sure he didn't hear footsteps. Otabek didn't get off on this floor.

JJ kissed Yuri's knuckles. That fucking _idiot!_ Why did Yuri keep letting this shit happen? And he was taking his card key? And opening his hotel room door like he paid the bill? Then he saw the dopey look on his ridiculously handsome face. “You okay?” He touched his cheek.

Yuri tried to pull away, but JJ didn't let him. “Yeah. Fine - stop!” He just wrapped his arms around him and made these weird shushing sounds.

“It’s not okay. But it's going to be.”

Man, what an _idiot!_ But, okay. Maybe it felt good when JJ hugged him. Must've been a hangover thing.


End file.
